My Identity Crisis

I’ve been getting a lot of abuse on Twitter.  And I’ve also noticed that the number of people looking at my LinkedIn profile who work for HM Government has sky-rocketed.

And this weekend I ‘spiked’ again. Not because I’ve staked a controversial position in the latest hot button issue, or because I’ve been caught driving naked at 130mph though a village in Surrey. The traffic and vitriol is because the UK’s most senior civil servant and former courtier, has nabbed MY name.

He may not technically have stolen it, and he’s not the only one.  Simon is a familiar first name for people of my generation, and Case is either an anglicisation of O’Casey or a Lancashire occupation surname for box-makers. The name itself isn’t problematic.  My issue is that Simon Case is my name. I had it a full nine years before the Cabinet Secretary, and he is polluting my brand

There were no parties in my office during lockdown. I haven’t mocked those affected by the government’s Covid policies. And I don’t refer to Boris Johnson as ‘a nationally distrusted figure’ - I am much, much ruder than that.  But I’m getting abuse as though I did.

So I want my name back. I was here first - squatters rights and all that. The other fella needs to change his name. 

He can have Justin.

Or Basket.